“My friends at NARAL asked me to tell you what it was like before Roe vs Wade. They asked me to tell you what it was like to be twenty and pregnant in 1950 and when you tell your boyfriend you’re pregnant, he tells you about a friend of his in the army whose girl told him she was pregnant, so he got all his buddies to come and say, “We all fucked her, so who knows who the father is?” And he laughs at the good joke….
What was it like, if you were planning to go to graduate school and get a degree and earn a living so you could support yourself and do the work you loved—what it was like to be a senior at Radcliffe and pregnant and if you bore this child, this child which the law demanded you bear and would then call “unlawful,” “illegitimate,” this child whose father denied it … What was it like? […]
It’s like this: if I had dropped out of college, thrown away my education, depended on my parents … if I had done all that, which is what the anti-abortion people want me to have done, I would have borne a child for them, … the authorities, the theorists, the fundamentalists; I would have born a child for them, their child.
But I would not have born my own first child, or second child, or third child. My children.
The life of that fetus would have prevented, would have aborted, three other fetuses … the three wanted children, the three I had with my husband—whom, if I had not aborted the unwanted one, I would never have met … I would have been an “unwed mother” of a three-year-old in California, without work, with half an education, living off her parents….
But it is the children I have to come back to, my children Elisabeth, Caroline, Theodore, my joy, my pride, my loves. If I had not broken the law and aborted that life nobody wanted, they would have been aborted by a cruel, bigoted, and senseless law. They would never have been born. This thought I cannot bear.
Ursula from this good read article
And I would have been living in Trenton NJ, also with half an education, probably with my steelworker boyfriend.
ReplyDeleteyep, I hear that, sister!!
DeleteImportant story! Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeletePowerful.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in high school in 1967 a friend of mine got pregnant. I don't know how she found a way to get an abortion back then, but she did. We were living in New Jersey, and she had to go to New York. She had to wear a blindfold and get into a car and not see who she was with or where she was going. She had the abortion and never saw any of it. Another friend had to fly to Puerto Rico for an abortion. We are living in crazy times these days.
ReplyDeletecriminal patriarchy- religious bullshit - hateful misogyny . I have more than a few stories of back in the day as well but - BLINDFOLDED??? That poor girl.
DeleteI've seen that in movies, it is done so the girl cannot later identify any one or any place.
DeletePoignant! I can think of several people I know whose lives would be drastically different without access to abortions.
ReplyDeletemine for one...
DeleteNo arguments here.
ReplyDeleteMine was in 1969, had to go to a different city, was unemployed, in college, still living with my parents who had me in basic lock down over smoking a little weed, and enlisted a friend to cover for me saying I was spending the weekend with her. The woman made me sit through a lecture by another woman who had nearly died from an abortion before she would do it, give me a chance to change my mind. Had I been forced to have a baby then, I wouldn't have the life I had or my two wanted children.
ReplyDeleteIn the seventies getting one was easier- no lectures, no blindfolds, A fetus- embryo- wad of dividing cells a zygote - is not a child or a shark or a pig
DeleteEven with birth control, every month there was the fear. What if I'm pregnant? Oh my god what will I do? Every damn month.
ReplyDeleteOf every damn year! I hope that they can figure out a way to transplant the zygote into men's ball sacs and have them carry it to term.
DeleteI did get pregnant in 64 and married my useless boyfriend. Had one more baby to keep him from being drafted. Divorced him after nine years. Finished college, got two more degrees, supported the children, paid for the house. But we always were poor because no child support was enforced, women didn't make as much as men. Bad old days.
ReplyDeletePatriarchy at its finest! Your children were lucky to have had you for a mom! What an inspiration!
Delete"If I had not broken the law and aborted that life nobody wanted, they would have been aborted by a cruel, bigoted, and senseless law."
ReplyDeleteI'm confused. If she had not aborted the first one, the next three would have been aborted by law? The same law that says abortion is illegal?
And I'd be living with half an education in Trenton N.J. with a guy with no education and who I didn't love.
ReplyDelete