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Sunday, September 6, 2026

garden brought to life, and old friends

Every year my friend has an "Old Friends " party and for a few hours on one night we all catch up with one another, hear about future trips around the globe, business ventures, books read, and we may talk politics, as we are all on the same page. 

This year, however, it truly was sobering. 

Our main favorite has died, another is nearly bed ridden, some have vanished replaced by others whom I do not know...Surgeries, ill health, strokes and heart issues have compromised a few. WOW, having not seen these folks for about two years , maybe three, "the walls come tumbling down."

Certainly a bit of decrepitness is bound to occur as we inch  toward our exits ...words escaping ,( a "green house" becomes a "glass plant structure thing " ,substitution, which i find myself doing frequently)  slow moving-  off balance, more deaf, less vision, incessant chatter about what ails ya ...Just kill me NOW. It is difficult to measure ,

having  not seen one another in a couple of  years.  Startling   gathering of "OLD" friends for one evening.

Some roll over and play dead or actually BE dead. Some, the most health challenged of the lot, carry on- booking fights and boat trips from here and there- from  Bergen to British  islands , Wales and beyond to the far north. Taken in "stride", so to speak,  inability to walk well  or to  talk or hear- with dignity they venture out and about,  slower, adjusting to  the complexity of travel after having stroke, crippled knees, heart issues, breathing trouble and - hearing loss

  Kudos to them, I say!  "I will get by"...

Which really sorts me out about dismissing a trip across the Atlantic, solo - to stay in England for a bit- revisit favorite haunts and see friends living there.  It will just be a different  sort of challenge without eye sight behaving as it used to . Anyway, Shook me out of my "can't do" attitude. 

The garden is lovely.Bill has brought it into lush bloom  and structure. He is a nurturing soul!  When they first moved there about 30 years ago the  yard was dry dirt, rocks and twigs with  an abrupt dropping slope into the alleyway of more dry dirt. There was no life at all.  



Giant cup hostas, as big as a dinner plate. 



Above is a volunteer tree that towers above the two story house. Brought in by a Japanese squirrel, they reckon. It is a Japanese walnut tree that appeared one spring already well established before being noticed and has grown like it bought the property. It is beautiful. Smooth white bark, delicate branches   with five inch leaves growing in pairs sharing  the same node. Like a dogwood but more elegant.

Two other trees, fir and a maple  I think, were volunteers and luckily landed in a good position to add to the garden's geometric balance. 

Sobering yet encouraging evening spent. The only annoyance was being in the company of people shouting at high volume , hollering  "what?' too frequently. Another good reason for ASL to be taught in schools. How much more pleasant humans could be when  shouting is subdued. Maybe Americans have this special problem due to being a very loud shouty population anyway (?)  My hearing is acute, so it is painful and bothersome to me. Generally I excuse myself and go outside, which I did do. 

Ok,  on to the next thing- going out to the lake to see grandchildren and son and DIL , eat a weenee, a chip and watch them turn blue  in the chilly lake. 

This morning the air is AUTUMN.
 


 

 

 
 

12 comments:

  1. Gettin' old ain't for the faint of heart. Touch of Grey is sooooooo appropriate, isn't it? Cheers!

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    1. Getting old isn't so bad theoretically...just that our vehicles wear out fast than we do and there is nothing left to ride around in.

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  2. Great photos and beautiful garden. Wow. Boy, did this strike a chord. Last September we had our Cork Poppers gathering and it was the most depressing thing I've ever been to. It was held at group members who lived about 90 minutes away and the drive home with four of us was so sobering, we still all feel the effects of it. Three were in wheelchairs or rollators and they loaned me one as my tendon was so bad I couldn't walk either. Another was having shoulder surgery the next day and still another dealing with the aftermath of a sinus infection. And that doesn't count the "unseen" maladies. Six months before, everyone was fine. Or fine enough. I'm hoping to get back to England in May. We postponed our trip for fall because I wouldn't be able to climb tube stairs and not every station has a lift. And really, I don't want to use the lift. Oh, it gets tough -- but we soldier on. And on. And on.

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    1. I guess that is our lot now, but it is very shocking to witness such sharp decline in friends that only yesterday were bouncing, just more slowly. How married couples deal with caretaking and the issues involved is also interesting. Husbands remarkably step up!
      I am thinkinhjg that April or May maight be a good time to go back to England. May try to stay in a hotel this time- am looking at Bertrand's townhouse near Russel. SQ. At least for three nights and then move on to cheaper digs...that is my thought at the moment. maybe I will see you there- that would be awesome.

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  3. What a wonderful serene green yard. I traveled every summer for six consecutive summers and then not at all for the next seven. But I'm thinking of going somewhere next summer. What else have I got to do with my time and my money.

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    1. That is the best way to spend time and money- travel!! Preferably outside. of the USA!

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  4. That gorgeous garden gives me hope that our dust and rocks and twigs will produce a place to enjoy if given a chance. Wevno Japanese squirrels to help us out though unfortunately.

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    1. Time water, work and a Japanese squirrel is all you need and VOILA! instant garden!

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  5. We all die. Isn't that odd? Sometimes I think that the ones who get out early are the lucky ones. Generally I feel this way most mornings. Probably not a healthy sign.
    The speech substitution thing- I've never heard it put that way but boy, do I do it.
    I'm afraid that if I had that garden, I would never leave it.
    As to you going back to London- if you want to, you should. Just no more Spider Man apartments. I still shiver at the thought. I know you can do it and I believe it is your heart's desire.

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    1. Thank you, Mary, vote of confidence is helpful. I would simplify the stay in London or wherever in England I might go by staying in a hotel. No chance of a spidey hole ever again! Trading in a vehicle before it falls apart is a good idea. Riding around in a wreck has never been predictable, will break down at the most inconvenient times- or smash you up to live in pain for the rest of the days. So, yes, you are right, better to get out early!

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  6. Your friends have a spectacular garden. It looks serine. I do love the exotic trees and the paths in the garden.
    Ageing is not always easy, that's for sure. I tend to accept things exactly as they are while living a somewhat healthy lifestyle and managing my health the best I can. I do like preventative and alternative health solutions and they serve me well.
    Watching friends and neighbors experience health issues makes me pause.
    Both neighbors have recently been diagnosed with Atrial Fibrillation, and this has changed their previously active lives significantly.
    Susan

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    1. Dennis had A-fib for years and finally had an ablation which took care of the problem nicely. It took a while to heal and to adjust but he is fine now. No more flutter. We are both in pretty good health other than my eye trouble inheritance. Dennis is very conscientious about his strict diet. He is remarkable! You are right, it is stunning to see how quickly some folks slide. Abrupt changes with only one way out. We are not fans of this trend!

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