This morning I was notified of my friend's death on Monday, she went outwith Pope Francis, I hope that he held her hand as they passed into the great up yonder. My friend's death is especially jarring- early onset Alzheimer's disease, to her sisters and me it seemed surreal, it was too quick and did not give us time to drive over the mountains to neighboring state to say whatever we needed to say- love you , cherish, you and "remember the time we...." She would not have remembered but she may have been amused.
She, her sisters and I go way back- back to Wyoming days, playing bridge and poker, riding horses and drinking Colt 45. We go back also to San Diego , the desert, horse training ranches. Then traveling up the coast stopping off to work here and there, eating mushrooms in the redwood forest- adopting dogs along the way.
We invented a shop in Port Townsend and were the first to serve Starbucks Coffee, back then ,in the beginning, it was cold pressed syrup that they hand delivered. We used one of their presses and they delivered the beans and a grinder-was very good coffee back then. Anyway, like I said, her death is jarring. Memories flood- I do not know how to process....
So more of my walk, to make us all feel better.
The camellias are pretty much spent - they were certainly glorious for five minutes- before they rusted and fell to the ground. Most of these delights are in the alley- Volunteers. The rain and cooler temperatures have been welcomed- blossoms are more robust this spring than previous spring times.
Granny day today and that was the most perfect timing ever- right after I got the phone call .... Feeling teary and lumpy , sorrow lifted the moment Flora opened the door and asked "Did you bring me something?"---life in perspective- the joy of those children is immeasurable. Of course I brought her something- a twirly dress and a wooden box shaped like a rabbit hand made by a friend.
We had to drive to Seattle (on the sofa) but Flora needed a radio so that she could listen to music - she built one- This is her radio-
Little family saved me from a morning of boo hoo - feeling like life is some sort of mean trick- it is not- I mean really- just look at this child! How can anyone moan having this girl in their world? Everyone gets a roll of the dice, guaranteed at birth-sometimes seven / eleven, sometimes snake eyes- but every one does get a chance... what folks do with it is about choices and genetics and making radios for the sofa drive to Seattle. My friend's mom died of Alzheimer's as well but she was old- Cathy was not old or ailing- genetics play a huge roll in how the dice land.
Anyway, that was a day . The babies bailed me out! They are the best children , happy little souls, affectionate and thoughtful and full of chocolate digestives.













The loss of a friend like that is big. It's big in our hearts, our souls, our world. I am so sorry. We humans are (theoretically) put here to make more of ourselves and when we have done that and raised those more-of-ourselves up and perhaps helped out some with their more-of-themselves, we're pretty much done here, aren't we?
ReplyDeleteSo. Yes. We take joy in the blossoms, the human ones and the horticultural ones, while we're here. What else can we do?
we all lose loved ones, just part of the deal of life. I can see how the invention of after life thinking would be appealing- or reincarnation or heaven-ish places where all of the dogs you ever had run up to greet you wagging their tails and off you go for a romp in some idealized meadow. But I reckon , this is it, this is all we have or will ever have. Shite death!
DeleteKids and flowers are the thing.
You've been touched so directly by the circle of life in one day. It's heart warming to have those little ones to re-establish your place in this event, the loss of a friend. The flowers of springtime, oh, they are also so dear, so immediate in their exuberance and flashes of color! I'm glad you shared some of your memories of your friend. About 5 years ago I lost my best friend, and for a long time I'd be talking with her spirit (not out loud.) Sometimes I see her photo on some older blogs and think how important that friendship once was to me, and now I've made more friends to fill that space (not intentionally, but it did happen.) And this was supposed to be about you, sorry! I believe we live on in the memories of our loved ones, and so you may carry your friend forward after her life of breathing and losing intellectual abilities to dementia have gone.
ReplyDeleteThe Lion King did come to mind- The circle of life- and I am holding little Emmet up to show the others that new life emerges!! Death is a bitch, though ,no getting around it. Natural and expected but still...not happy about how my friend went .
DeleteI lost a high school friend last week. She was part of our "brunch bunch" that meets once a month for laughs and stories. Yesterday her daughters had a celebration at a local pizza place and there was lots of laughs, tears, happy stories. Just a lovely way to remember our wonderful friend. It reminds me to enjoy life as we are here one minute and gone the next.
ReplyDeleteThe "gone" part is not fun.
DeleteI agree entirely, life is a roll of the dice. I am sorry for your loss of a very special long-standing friend. You shared lots of life and happy experiences together. Sudden departures are the hardest. Take care Linda Sue.
ReplyDeleteGardens, flowering plants and beautiful children are the perfect combination to make a great day. Flora Jane, twirly dresses, pastel pink nightgowns and radio building add magic to the day.
Living near the sea is fantastic, until a storm comes along. A high ground view of the sea is preferred.
You are so right , the focus on twirly pink and flowers and little children is recompense enough to fill the gaping void of loss.
DeleteI'm so very, very sorry about the loss of your friend. Indeed, all the sadder under the circumstances. A walk was needed to be sure, but more so the visit with your grandlittles. They give us a way to escape the sadness for a bit, don't they? I'm glad you had that bit of perfect timing -- and also, that you allow yourself the time to grieve and remember.
ReplyDeleteTime will be taken to process this particular loss- damn! I am not good at this death thing- better get used to it I guess!
DeletePassages of those that were such an integral part of our lives are just so damn hard to bear, especially when they come sooner than expected. How fortunate you are to have those little folks to comfort you. They won't make the loss go away, but they certainly helped.
ReplyDeleteYou are right- the darling littles are the needed perspective- what is important at this moment- all else is history- gone . Anyway Flora and baby brother are the juice of life!!
DeleteDeath from early onset Alzheimers seems particularly unfair. My brother died in 2017, at the age of 63. Unfair. He'd been debilitated for 10 years, so it wasn't unexpected, still. I am sorry you've lost a long time friend, those losses really hurt.
ReplyDeleteEarly onset- terrible!!! Such a challenging awful disease- a one way ticket to misery. Sorry your brother died so young, That is surprising and not in a great way, but then is death ever "great?"
DeleteI am sorry you have lost a good friend. Your photos here are all delightful.
ReplyDeleteShe certainly leaves a big empty spot! The flowers are beginning- soon the alleys will be full of all sorts! They are lovely.
DeleteMy condolences to you. I hope the walk helped and certainly little children don't leave much space for introspection.
ReplyDeleteWe should have been at a funeral today, but it was too far for us at present. This person's death was a release and a relief after years of serious illness and dementia. Nonetheless, he is mourned by all who knew him.
dementia is a terrible way to exit, hospice and mophine in the end which probably should have been sooner. No funeral, which I think we all appreciate!
DeleteAll but two of Marc's friends he's know from public school days have died. I didn't maintain any old friendships so nothing to lose. Sorry for your loss though. And yay for the babies. And spring flowers.
ReplyDeleteBabies are just what is needed- fresh, curious - pure love!
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