Yesterday ,Sunday, I thought it would be a good opportunity to see the inside of St. John’s, the church on Goose Green. It was 9:30, after the morning mass , church open and empty. I wandered around, took a few photos, this one of a banner looked especially worthy-
A few Mary’s, zero dead guys on a stick… a bright interior. Then a choir began their practice, sounded amazing. So I sat to listen for a while. Suddenly a woman was introducing herself as the vicar saying “ pleasure to have you here, welcome”, took my hands and smiled.well, it would be rude to leave, wouldn’t it? So I stayed .
The church started its business. Music, hymns, prayers with excessive clouds of incense smoke billowing to the ceiling ,choking the congregation…was , could have been , lethal! Eyes burning, the church became a fog . Ok, still rude to leave,probably, I stayed for the sermon which wasn’t terrible, mostly about inclusion of trans folks and gay folks and how everyone could be helpful, donate to the fund…be kind, listen to one another. Ok so far, then - the readings, three of them, all three were fucked up interpretations of god talk, god being his mean old self . Maybe I could sneak out now… nope - the ushers guarded the pews and marched us up to the kneely thing for a crappy wafer and a sniff of wine, I got a blessing because I said no thank you to the snack. Anyway, awkward… upon leaving, at the entry, vicar again shook my hand, and I was polite, but I wanted to question their gods intent and the bollocks readings. “ mind your own business”, I said to me, left, went for a walk through hyperbolic autumnal weather. The park was a flurry of leaves and wind kicking up around joyful dogs.
Speaking of…Sarah took me to the pet cemetery on Friday. We agreed that the panic was cruel / horrendous, and we would never obey orders like that, but people are strange, especially when fear is ever present threatening horrors that are not yet a reality, War does that, god also does that…seems fear is the best manipulation to survival ever, played to the max.used by religions, keep your offerings healthy , as the ushers pass the hat…fear is more god than any of the gods. America thrives on fear especially now . Expect cruelty…
Yes, we all like to think we'd be brave, in the abstract. But things sneak up on you. That church sounded like a kind of moral bullying -- if I leave, will they think I'm not inclusive??
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to members of the family I doubt that I could be moved to kill them because times might get tough. I am amazed that londoners took their pets in to be killed! But the nation, still traumatized by WW1- is understandable- the dread, possible starvation and all that comes with war. Bye-bye pups.
DeleteI love the memorial paving stones...that church was lovely, but the "service" was pretty eye-opening as to the lingering god-in-the-sky-moralistic one to decide everything...pointing his finger at you should you disobey etc...Not sure what "the panic" was which you referred to. But I agree about fear being a huge motivating emotion. But so is anger!
ReplyDeleteSo confusing, super nice people but the ceremony was idiotic and , like I said, the reading were horrific. Bait and switch?
DeleteOh, churches. Sounds like you were trapped by kindness. I just do not understand religion. I've been watching some videos made by a lovely Orthodox Jewish woman who is an L&D nurse, a wife, a mother of four. In her videos she explains the whys and wherefores of many Orthodox Jewish rules and rituals. The other day I watched one where she had a rabbi explain what heaven was to Jews and he said that heaven is not really that important in their religion. It's more about following the rules that their god has proscribed for them to bring that god to earth in the form of the Messiah to create heaven on earth. Which sounds lovely, right? But why does that god require such insane and difficult rules and rituals to make him happy enough with humans to come back to earth? Every single action they take is deeply imbued
ReplyDeletewith instructions and laws that govern every aspect of their lives. What kind of god came up with such crazy shit? A really particular and bossy one, I guess.
There is a fascination . How could otherwise intelligent folks believe shite that rules their lives absurdly? It’s surprising and a little frustrating . Some folks need that I guess or it would not be so popular. Gods seem very insecure to be so demanding !
DeleteAnd they always want praising! And glorifying! Narcissistic, every one of them.
DeleteWell, THAT's a bit of wartime history I'd never heard. They'd have to kill me first before I put down my dog! Bravo for being open to the church experience -- it must have been an interesting cultural opportunity even if not quite your theological cup of tea.
ReplyDeleteYes, it was interesting, curiosity … check that one off of my list. I am with you on the kill your dog order!
DeleteI have never understood the incense in churches. It must be suffocating. I had never heard of the Brits killing their pets. What a sad time.
ReplyDeleteYes, what’s up with the swinging balls of terrible smoke?
DeleteThat church service was odd to say the least, I struggle with organized religion and all of the rules it forces on those that follow. I will never understand it. The killing of pets was a piece of WWII history I was not aware of. What a cruel thing to endure on top of all the other horrors of war........
ReplyDeleteShocking number of pets killed. I can not imagine making that decision!
DeleteThanks for including the little history of wartime pets. How sad remaining pets found their way "home", to a bombed out rubble, and still called for their owners.
ReplyDeleteAs for church, I think I would have been gone at the swinging balls of smoke.
I didn’t think the balls of smoke would be that intense nor last that long, too late- I was blinded and choked and could not have found the door.
DeleteI heard about the pet cemetery. Wow. Very sad indeed. I can't handle the incense. As soon as I saw it coming I'd be out of there.
ReplyDeleteYou are smarter than I!
DeleteHow odd to have ushers guarding the pews, I would have found a way to leave, perhaps pleading an upset stomach.
ReplyDeleteI love the remembering wartime pets plaque and the pet cemetery is very lovely.
The ushers I am sure were thought of as helpful guides..
DeleteYour blog hasn't been coming up on my feed so I've been missing all this stuff. I thought, where the heck is Goose Green? I looked it up and it's in Dulwich. Well! Next time I go to Dulwich Picture Gallery (won't be cycling there till the weather improves though) I will make a detour to Goose Green. I'm constantly amazed that although I have lived in London most of my life and made quite considerable efforts to see around it, there are still places I've never even heard of let alone been. The pet cemetery is very nice.
ReplyDelete