Tuesday, December 11, 2018

land of no sky, Paddington, and a funeral



The photo taken at  two o'clock in the afternoon- another winter in the Pacific Northwest, GAHHHhhhh. Clammy cold. Why does anyone live here...besides the liberal bubble, the vast green and wild forests and mountains, and the gardens, I can see no reason! I hope I don't die here.


We went  to see an attorney to make our wills , I was not expecting much, Just the usual, attorney arrogance- Mr. Man had some elaborate and impossible scheme to give two boys this and not one boy that and asked about a pre-nup, though we have been married for 35 years...I blame diabetes for that little burp- sometimes there is a cog in the thinking wheel. Anyway, the attorney listened quietly, not even rolling his eyes..Looked over at me and asked "What would YOU like...?"
 Wow,  amazed  that he would ask- "I just want the boys to be treated equally- that's what I want...common sense."
DONE, with the wave of his pen, and so we accomplished a will that makes sense,  I feel much better- can  rest in peace, as they say.

The attorney -  a lovely man with a dog named Molly, who put her head in my lap and let me scratch her ears and chest.  It was a wonderful afternoon , actually,  spent with the best sort of person&dog, not at all what I anticipated. Feeling quite secure now that I know this man  , and  the will thing is  easy to understand for when one or both of us kicks the bucket.

The attorney - stalwart as a  tree, calm as a kayak on a quiet steam-  skilled at paddling through the quagmire of people's  complicated relationships -, intelligent, a straight shooter, amiable , funny - no nonsense,, non judgmental - get - the -job- done-well and effortlessly-he did not have time to waste. For real- he did not have time-
We did not know, at the time,  that he was dying- and die he did. We went to his memorial service on Saturday.  No corn, no platitudes, no god stuff-
We were not alone in our admiration of the man that is for sure, It was packed! Friend's told remarkable tales, humorous adventurous tales - stories of  deep caring love. This man led an exemplary life, genuinely bettering his understanding with every event, good or challenging- a little bit of Zen thrown in the mix and a strong sense of "this is all so temporary- and it is lovely".
 



Nothing like a beloved, fully lived life to sort of snap one into a better perspective. To take stock...to realize that tomorrow may not be for you. 
It was a brilliant service! 
Live until you don't! We all know this , yet can not help but get bogged down or afraid of whatever it is that limits our capacity for joy and living fully.  I don't know, maybe it is just fear- unpaid bills, a toothache, a broken neck- whatever life throws at us that takes precedence . 

And the fact that the Rump in the white house has brought us all down- just pooped on everything and everyone, he has. 






BUT, you, you  have a nice day anyway- OK?


 I think the rump is headed for the slammer, can't happen too soon! For the first time in two years I see a glimmer of hope, glimmering from  "witch hunt" genius Mueller. a saint!!



In the midst of  north west gloom and loss of a fine man,  a bright spot came through the post!! The best gift arrived from Sarah Wallis- 
Champion maker of all things, she made this Paddington - his little coat with toggles , a hood,  a hat - two little pockets for cookies , most likely. He makes me so happy , I carry him around - " Have you met  Sarah's Paddington ?" I ask, and then they shake paws with him and say "how d'you do"
He is a proper bear- offers  marmalade because he is  kind and generous, but then he remembers that he has eaten all of the marmalade , yesterday, I think it was, he looks at me imploringly because he knows that I know how to shop I have thumbs... and a  purse . He is a smart , lovely bear, and Sarah is the most clever creator of things on the planet today! 





He really brightens up the place!

You can see, we need it! Here is another photo taken at  2:01 this afternoon. This is our sunshine.

13 comments:

  1. This very morning when I woke up, as full of angst and anxiety as I ever am, I bemoaned the fact that I never seem to be able to just feel joy. Joy at what I have which is vast and love-filled. I am afraid to feel joy, I suppose, and if that isn't the saddest thing in the world, I don't know what is because this life CAN be so lovely, in so many of its parts and so often is.
    Thank you for reminding me again.
    I have no idea how anyone can live through that sort of atmospheric gloom day after day. I wish you didn't have to.
    And now- that bear. He is the most beautiful bear I've ever seen! What a glory he is! I know you will take proper loving care of him forever and ever.

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    1. perhaps , in your life, you are just holding your breath, waiting for a big shoe to drop and dislodge all that you have so nicely in place...that, I think, is FEAR at it's worst. I realize that I have no control, over anything, broken neck snapped me out of that illusion- so whatever happens, I will ride the storm like a dime store cowgirl! If that is any help at all- visualize us riding it out in our cowgirl outfits on a woolworth quarter horse, and by quarter I mean coin in the slot, Keith playing so well and loudly in our hearts! That is better than medication, I reckon! We will make it through, we will!

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  2. I finally got my will signed with witnesses and notarized before I left for Portugal. the husband still has yet to get his made official. sometimes it's hard to remember to indulge in joy with the toddler in the WH that pitches a fit when he doesn't get his way and now has ended AIDS research along with destroying the protections that have given us the clean air and water he was just bragging about. and why are they even wondering if a president can be charged with a crime? I ask, why the hell not?

    OK, back to joy...what a wonderful bear!

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    1. Well, you know, fuck trump and his reign of terror, He is headed to the slammer, no doubt, and I have faith that people of this wobbly nation will go to bat to save what is good. Paddington told me, and one never doubts the bear!

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  3. OK, stepping out on a limb here, offering unsolicited advice, often worth what the recipient paid for it. Have you ever considered a park model in Arizona? You can buy or rent. Many people from the northern tier states relocate for a few months in the winter. After 22 years in the Seattle area, the climate drove us out, and I know how you feel with the gloom.

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    Replies
    1. yes, the thought has occurred to us, Arizona- as climate goes- is probably the perfect option, must look into it.

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  4. Our clouds don't blow around so gracefully. They're just painted on grey. Getting a will done is important. Good job. And, good bye dear man to that attorney.

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    1. We usually have days that are painted on as well, This particular day actually had some light sneaking through! I do feel so much better with the will in place! It will be clear to the boys when we are dead.

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  5. I think that sky is called 'bright gray'...:-)

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    1. probably a trendy color these days for modern,hipster homes...I do miss the sky however. Claustrophobic here.

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  6. Your bear is beautiful, as is your sense of optimism. The liberal bubble you describe is only found in pockets here...I hope you are correct about rump and the slammer...

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    1. he is the BEST bear, I have a few, but he is king bear at the moment. Liberal bubble is the only way I would survive the idiotic rumpness of this nation.

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  7. Sarah IS amazing -- so skilled! Too bad about your attorney, but bravo to you for going the simple, equitable route for your will. Why make things complicated?

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