Wednesday, July 12, 2017

blind promises

 Still blind in one eye, went in for a check up and they promised that it was NO PROBLEM!!! So-still scheduled for the other eye tomorrow, and they promised, this one will go better. 
 I did not chicken out. I got a soft serve from the new burger place, It was soft, and I felt better. Junk food fix.

Jumped out of my car to take a photo of this lovely home , nearly got hit, very close, because, you understand, but the gods said "no, we do not want you."  It would have been such a good excuse to not have surgery tomorrow...oh well. 

I would be a very cranky blind person I have come to realize,  I could see "Shampoo" on the bottle in the shower this morning -so seeing eye dog just yet,  no reason to whine. Knowing that hair is being shampooed rather than being gummed up by that other bottle of stuff on the bathtub ledge  , whatever it is, that I used a step in a positive direction.

Stella will take me to surgery again. 
She brought TOM back from Finland , Love the package, so to speak...
She had the best of all possible journeys to her homeland, her people.
She will be going back sooner than later I suspect. 

This is the only sticker I have on my car, so radical. I have not been shot  by RUMP supporters but then I do not travel out to the county very often. I would not like getting shot, that, too, would make me cranky. Might get me out of having this damned surgery however...hmmmm thinking.....well, a promise is a promise right? AND
they PROMISED, so there is that. 
After this first eye, I have "trust issues".... I still sort of believe in promises, but if they break this one tomorrow , I refuse to give them any more eyes to work on. 

Sunday, July 9, 2017

surgery - the windows to the soul- I have none, apparently....

The French ophthalmologist Jacques Daviel (1696–1762) was the first modern European physician to successfully extract cataracts from the eye. He performed the first extracapsular cataract extraction on April 8, 1747. It was the first significant advance in cataract surgery since couching was invented.

I can not even imagine how primitive and horrid that must have been, 
On Thursday I had one eye done, the next to be done the following Thursday. I had no idea what to expect other than everyone telling me what a piece of cake the surgery is and how well the eye works afterwards.

I have not been able to see  well for some time now, which may explain the huge flowers that I felted  Large is the only size that works for me . Colors have been peculiar  as well , Reds pop forward like 3-D, off the page or out of a paintings- also  have not been able to read for well over a year now, and wearing two pair of glasses one on top of the other, has not helped much. So looking forward to having my eyesight restored has been exciting, promising! Can't wait!! WHOOPEE! 

Stella drove me  all the way to another town down south to the surgery, and waited around for what we thought would be quick , painless , a snap, a piece of cake, right? Everyone says so....
The cake is a lie!! It has not been the most pleasant of much lying going on these days!!!

- I could feel everything being done, not enough numbing and not enough "I don't care" medication.
I will know next time and tell them to give me the entire pantry - triple, please !

Stella saved my life...AGAIN. - brought pain meds for me - one for  immediately and one before bed, WHEW! 
 She knows stuff!! Stella is a goddam SAINT!
- large black glasses  could afford me a whole new career , yeah, man, Me and Stevie...
Ebony and ivory...looks like I will be wearing these forevermore, eyes are more fragile after being messed with, they say. Could be a lie...

In 1923 at the age of 82, Claude Monet finally relented , had  surgery on one eye. At first he was pleased, though having had impaired vision for so long (thus his blurry /soft style)- the clarity and bright colors terrified him .

Before his vision became clouded over nearly entirely- he did not complain- he liked the world as he saw it- melding and foggy ,  "It's very beautiful all the same and it is what I would love to be able to convey", he stood out from the crowd of fabulous painters during that time. 

as the cataracts grew more dense, however, his painting became  dull and muddy. The surgery did not bail him out. One eye could not see violets and blues , the other could.After surgery he painted opening  one eye at a time .and the light was never restored to it's previous glory.

Of course I am hoping that what everyone else has said  about this surgery being  a magnificent miracle will occur in time , after the swelling diminishes, the globs of tar floaters cease, the bleeding eyeball thing becomes less bloody, and vision actually happens- I will be among those folks...right now, not so much.